Saturday, 12 February 2011

@Phil - Potential Plot Ideas | Improving Plot

Hi Phil below is the adjusted 3 set. I worked a new begining by adding the point you gave and also reworked some of the areas in act 2 & 3 to suffice with your pointers. On friday I had a brief talk with Max and we discussed that Plot 1 was my strongest due to the twist at the end. Due to this I diecide to improve on that plot and that plot alone.


Improving Plot 1
Plot Idea 1
Act 1
Morning – Amityville Zoo came in to the light, it’s facades like that of a ghost town; posters littered the wall - all with the heading ‘Missing’.  Juan stared at the manager as he placed a sign next to the entrance ‘70% Off Tickets – Closing Down Sale’ His face turned grimace as he wonder over to the tiger enclosure his vision focused on the slowly decaying sign – ‘Predator Land’ – Barely legible. On entry he ponders over the tiger enclosure, a tear fell to his cheek as the tiger lay motionless and malnourished beside the pool. Yet Juan’s facade changed as a menacing gaze protruded his features his eyes focused on the alpha male gnawing a bone. The scurry of feet grabbed his attention, through the entrance came a small herd of tourists. His eyes crazed, his mouth salivating at the sight of them coming towards him. Wiping the sinister smile from his face he sniggers ‘You’re in luck boys and girls...its feeding time’. Juan turned as he guide them to the next destination his eyes gleaming with excitement as he looked at the sign post in front, his eyes focused on the arrow signifying ‘Anacondas’.

Act 2
Reaching the enclosure, the area was vast and full of foliage; the intention to produce that of it original environment. Juan couldn’t stop the smile protruding his facial feature as he herded the tourists to the viewing platform. As they gazed, he drifts into the back announcing he’ll begin the feeding. A small camouflaged hut lay in front of him. Entering he leaves the door slightly a jar to keep his eyes on the crowd. As he watches the group ass there gaze is transfixed on the floor below. Juan reaches out as he grabs the rope coming from the ceiling above. Yanking down hard a sudden crack of the branches above echo through the enclosure as a log plummets towards the ground. No sooner the debris beneath the groups feet clears and lassos snatches at their ankles; taking them skywards. Reaching the peak of the incline they hear snap as torque on the rope turns to slack and they begin to fall. As they fall one notice figure standing where they had been moments earlier...black. Juan looks down at his achievement 5 corpses lay before him, motionless. Moreover his animal where dismounting from the tree. It was time to feed.

Act 3
Juan walked back from the viewing platform his facade happier than it was before. The sudden snap from the branches got his attention as another log flung down, his feet came from beneath him and his head collided with the ground. Waking his vision refocused as he stares down at the enclosure, the anacondas bulging with silhouette of a figure mid-stream. The roughness of the bonds irritated gazing upwards he sees the shed skin of the anaconda wrapped around his foot. The sudden jolt from the skin brought his gaze back to the ground as the torque came slack. Hurling towards an inevitable fate, a figure appeared from the viewing platform. Juan looks to scream his eyes in disbelief but the black of death came too quickly. The echo of wing tips soles slapping the floor drowned out the enclosure as the man hurries for the exit. Reaching the entrance/exit the man turns and pulls the gates shut applying a sign displaying ‘enclosure closed for maintenance’. As he turns his badge glints in the sunlight as the reflection shines on the nearby wall...MANAGER. The figure turns and collapses the 9 inch blade back into its cover. Slipping the pen knife in to his inner jacket pocket; he begins to walk back into the sunlight. Rubbing his hands together he states ‘’It’s going to be a good day’’. In the enclosure the anaconda lays still as a trainers sits next to him.

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